Alright I'm doing it: Day 2 of my blog.  We arrived in Spanish Fort yesterday, and the reality of everything is definitely sinking in.  Everyone in my family is on edge for many reasons.  One, we are still waiting for the loan approval.  There is no real doubt that we'll get approved, but the company is dragging their feet and it's been frustrating.  Second, assuming we get the loan in time, the house doesn't close until this Friday at the earliest.  We got here Monday (and had been on the road for five days straight), and now must live in a hotel for at least another four days.  Third, our POD that we put all of our stuff in (like beds, for example) doesn't arrive until anytime between this Monday and next Monday.  This means that even if we do get the house Friday, we still won't have a bed to sleep on until three days later, at the earliest.

And that's just the stuff that everyone's dealing with.

On top of all that, I'm dealing with the realization that, although four years is not that long in the grand scheme of things, it is a long time for me to be separated from Michael.  Logically, I still know all the things I continuously told myself before I left California.  Things like, if it's meant to be and blessed by God, it will all work out; this will strengthen our relationship, and we'll come out stronger as a couple than we ever were; we're both committed to each other and God, and we're strong enough to make it work.  But now that the reality of living here for FOUR YEARS is sinking in, I'm realizing how hard it will be.  Not to stay faithful, or to remain committed to each other, but to suffer through the distance of not being able to see him whenever I want, just a 20 minute drive away.  Sure, he's just a Skype or a phone call away -- just a text away -- but none of those things will let me lay on the couch watching a movie with him or hold me when I'm overwhelmed or sad.  And the reality of that is definitely hard to swallow.

I still hope this is God's will for me, and that He has a plan.  I'm constantly praying for guidance, and maybe that's part of His plan: that through this journey I will return to the state of fully relying on Him, and praying constantly.

Prayers would be greatly appreciated as I struggle with this journey God has placed before me, and try to figure out what His plan is for me.

Love and hugs,

katiebell @>->---